Domestic Violence 1

Hi everyone

Trending on social media this week is the painful story of Nneoma Nnadi: a 10 year old girl who underwent terrible physical abuse in the hands of her Madam. The madam assaulted her in various ways including burning her with hot iron, hitting a nail into her head and also putting pepper in her vagina. In fact this case horrendous as it is, is actually the tip of the iceberg. In view of this, we will be discussing Domestic Violence this week.

It is my utmost goal to bring this horrific issue’ Out of the Shadows’. I covet your contributions in this discussion.

You are Welcome.

Some weeks ago, we started this discussion on Violence and it’s consequences.

Violence was classified into three major classes as follows: Self-directed Violence, Collective and Interpersonal violence.

Interpersonal Violence is further divided into Domestic Violence and Community violence.

Domestic Violence refers to violence occuring in the family or home. The home is a place of succour, peace , comfort and joy. Therefore, violence in the home is probably the worst type: there is no place of succour and comfort for the victim. Some synonyms of Domestic Violence include Domestic abuse, Spousal abuse, intimate partner violence and family violence. Domestic violence occurs in marriages and relationships .

Broadly speaking, domestic violence includes violence against spouses, children, parents, the elderly and other members of the household.

Globally, most of the victims of domestic Violence are women and children. However, men are also abused. Last year, we saw the case of a Doctor whose wife hired bandits to butcher him. In essence, men are also abused: some have been killed.

Child Abuse is a painful aspect of violence. It may occur both in the family and also in the community. Regrettably as much as 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually with disastrous consequences. The issue of child abuse as seen in the case of Nneoma noted above is common especially in children in foster homes and those who are helps in other homes.

Effects of Domestic violence are horrific and may be classified as follows: 1.Effects the Victim

The effects include the whole range of injuries from abrasions, lacerations, fractures, loss of eye,….head injury down to death. Domestic Violence is a common cause of death and disability in women younger than 45 years.

It also causes emotional and psychological trauma as well as depression. It may lead to substance and alcohol abuse. Some victims never recover the losses.

2. Effects on the family

The effects noted above disrupt the family dynamics immensely. These include loss of lives, economic losses, fears, sorrows, depression and divorce. Children are more affected when the family is destroyed.

3. Effects on Children

Domestic violence leads to disastrous consequences on the children.

Dire health consequences like injuries, illnesses and disabilities and deaths are common in children. Other effects include emotional stress, anxiety and depression. Others are self harm, low self esteem, aggression, poor school performance, bullying. Social vices like prostitution, alcohol , substance abuse and in fact crimes are commoner in children with a history of child abuse. A good number of serial rapists and murderers were victims of child abuse.

The negative effects of domestic Violence are too many to mention.

Thanks for reading

Tomorrow, we’ll look at the causes of Violence.

Impact of Violence 1

Hi everyone

Last week we started the series on Violence. Today, we’ll be looking at the impact of Violence. You are Welcome.

The World Health Organisation considers the 20th Century as one of the most violent periods in history. It is estimated that as much as 191 people lost their lives from conflicts and more than half of these were civilians. In fact more than 1million people loose their lives every year. In all, violence is one of the leading causes of death amongst people aged 15-44 years worldwide. Regrettably, the WHO notes that the highest rates of these deaths is in Africa.

Collective violence as earlier defined is the instrumental use of violence by a group against another group. It involves ears, terrorism, ethnic and religious crises, gang warfare and cult hits.

The consequences of Collective violence can be divided into two major classes

Impact on Healt and Economic Impact

Impact on Health

The impact on Health can be

Physical and Psychological

The physical impacts can be far reaching which include mortality, morbidity and disability. Many lives have been lost. Some others suffered severe injuries and consequent disabilities.

The economic factors lead to malnutrition and communicable diseases. In addition there’s reduced access to health care services.

Psychological

There are dire psychological effects due to collective violence. This includes anxiety, depression, suicidal behaviour, substance abuse and post traumatic stress disorder. Violence also exposes people to sex crimes.

Economic Impact

The World Economic Forum Report showed that the economic impact of Violence to the global economy was 14.76 trillion Dollars in 2017.

Most of this was spent by the military to either prevent or contain violence.

Collective violence leads to destruction of the farms and consequent reduced production of food. This was the case in Nigeria with the attack of the Fulani herdsmen in Benue state. Benue is the food basket of the nation. Destruction of farms and crops led to food shortage.

Shortage of food is also caused by poor access from blocked roads and transport difficulties.

Displacement of persons from their homes is one of the terrible consequences of Collective violence.

Conflicts also disrupt trade and businesses. This leads to increased social vices like prostitution, alcoholism and drug addiction.

Young children are the most affected in such times. The case of the severely malnourished Biafran children during Nigerian civil war is still very fresh.

The Consequences of Collective violence are far reaching.

Thanks for reading

Violence and Consequences

Hi everyone

Welcome from COVID-19 Lockdown.

In the last two weeks, the world has been shocked by deaths which stemmed from VIOLENCE!!

We all saw the video of George Floyd’s death at the hands of police officers in Minneapolis USA. The painful death caused protests all over the world for more than 2 weeks.

Here in Nigeria, we were shocked at the brutal rape and murder of Uwa ,: a young student who was reading in a church in Benin, Nigeria. Regrettably, there are many more of such incidents all over the world. In fact, incidents of rape, incest and domestic violence seem to have increased remarkably in recent times.

In view of this we will be discussing violence. I covet your inputs and comments for a rich discussion. You are Welcome.

Violence according to Wikipedia is the use of physical force to injure, abuse or damage. The World Health Organisation has a more inclusive definition as follows:

The intentional use of physical force or power, threatened or actual, against oneself, another person or against a group, community which results in or has a liklehood of resulting in injury, death, psychological harm, maldevelopment or deprivation.

Types of Violence

The World Health Organisation classifies Violence into three broad categories

These are

  1. Self Directed
  2. Collective Violence
  3. Interpersonal Violence
  1. Self Directed Violence

The Center for Disease Control ( CDC) defines self directed violence as anything a person does intentionally that can cause injury to self including death. It generally includes suicides and self abuse. Some mutilate, cut or deliberately injure themselves. These are common in persons with mental ill health.

2. Collective Violence

Collective violence is defined as the instrumental use of violence by people who identify themselves as a group against another group. The essence is to achieve political, economic or social objectives. It includes war, terrorism, gang warfare, ethnic wars ETC.

3. Interpersonal Violence

This is self explanatory and is subdivided into Domestic Violence and Community Violence.

Domestic violence involves the family and intimate partner while community violence involves non relatives.

Interpersonal violencec be further subdivided into Physical, Sexual, Psychological, Emotional or Financial violence. Noteworthy is that interpersonal violence may also be collective in some cases.

Most of our discussion will be centred around Interpersonal Violence. Tomorrow, we will discuss the impact/ consequences of violence.

Thanks for reading.

COVID-19 Lockdown 3

Hi everyone

Happy New week

Still on getting Healthy within this period of COVID-19 Lockdown. There’s the danger of weight gain within the period. Having discussed Healthy Diet , we’ll discuss exercise today. You will recall that the British Prime minister on his broadcast allowed the British to go for exercise’ Once a day’. Many applauded him for that decision. This means walks, walking the dog, jogging , cycling. In the Nigerian situation and most other countries, there’s no allowance for exercises.

However, there is still a dire need for exercises. Some of us are opportune to have a gym, treadmill, stationery bikes etc. This is the opportunity to use those amenities to keep fit, avoid weight gain and get healthy. For the rest of us, we can still do a lot in our homes . We should not become’ Couch Potatoes’: just watching TV and eating.

Some of the exercises are as follows:

  1. Walking : You can still walk around your 🏠 especially if you live in your own compound.For those who live in a block of flats or public compound, this may not be wise. You will meet other non family members and that’s not ‘Social Distancing’. Hence you can walk in your house: moving from room to room. Persons who live in just one room can still’ March at a spot’. Whatsoever you do, ensure that you are STANDING. Do not sit down. Remember that’ Sitting is the New smoking’!!!
  2. Running: Running usually requires an open space like the road or an open field. This may not be easy but you can still use the little space that you have. In fact, within this lockdown, a French man ran a whole marathon on his balcony. Elisha Nochomovitz was scheduled to run the Barcelona marathon which had been cancelled. He continued his training by running on his balcony which was 23feet( 7 metres) in length. He ran a whopping 26.2mes( 42Km) on the balcony. It took him 6 hours and 48 minutes running to and fro about 5,000 times. His determination and achievement is impressive. You and I have no further excuses.
  3. Using the Staircase: Walking or running up and down the stairs is very effective. The alternative is to use a chair, low table or stack of blocks. In essence, you can repeatedly climb up and down.
  4. Work Out Videos: There are many work out videos out there. You can quickly download one on YouTube and use it for your daily workouts. The videos have an added advantage of working out with people for those who live alone.
  5. Dancing: Dancing remains a wonderful exercise. It keeps you on your feet and exercises many parts of your body. Therefore old age dancing while playing music or even singing. This type of exercise is also very enjoyable and refreshing.
  6. Skipping: Most of us loved to skip as children. Do you still have a skipping rope ( or any rope at that). This is the time to pick it up again. Skip, Skip and Skip.
  7. Weight lifting: Weight lifting is important in building muscles and strength. However, please note that weight lifting should not be the only exercise. The aerobic exercises described earlier are very important should be performed before the weight lifting.
  8. Abdominal Exercises: Squats , press-ups, and push ups are other alternatives for strength training and building of muscles. Let’s still note that these should be performed after the aerobic exercises. All these exercises should be performed for about one hour: we have some time now. The whole family should participate in these exercises.

Thanks for reading

COVID-19 LOCKDOWN 2

Hi everyone

Still on the COVID-19 LOCKDOWN!!!!

As at yesterday, as much as one quarter of the whole world is on Lockdown. Only persons that offer essential services (like Health workers) or sell basic necessities like food, water and medications are allowed to go to work. Initially, death was mostly amongst the elderly and those with medical conditions. Regrettably, mortality has been recorded among young persons who had no medical illnesses.

Please remember to ‘STAY SAFE’!!

Today we will continue in getting healthy within the period.
The second step is HEALTHY DIET

We discussed the issues of diet in the 1st week of September 2019.
Components include:
Fresh food: meat, fish, yams ETC
Non processed Foods
Plant oils instead of animal oils
Drink water
Reduce salt intake
Eat more fresh foods and vegetables ETC

It is common knowledge that a good number of us have been far too busy to cook healthy meals. This is because of our extremely busy schedules. Hence we either eat fast foods or eat cooked food in restaurants or have a help cook our meals. Some of us even buy pots of food cooked.
The lockdown has given us the opportunity to cook healthy meals once again.I mean good old home African cooking. We have the time within this period. It is also a wonderful time to teach our children some of these lost skills.

Remember those cooking skills we picked from our mothers and grandmothers as follows:
Peeling egusi (melon seeds): some children have never seen egusi seeds before
Plucking Okazi and cutting from the scratch: usually buy it cut from the market
Washing bitter vegetables like Bitterleaf, Atama or Editan (very tough)
Pounding pepper and tomatoes (with mortar and pestle) or grinding with grind stone: Blenders are much faster and smoother or we grind in the market
Washing beans for moi moi and akara
Preparing Abacha (wet and dry) from cassava
Cutting periwinkles (Yes ooo, there is an art to it)
Preparing banga/ofe akwu
Roasting and cooking over fire (fire wood or charcoal)
Preparing our wonderful African dishes
ETC ETC

Looks like I am taking you back to the dark ages: May be, may be NOT!!

Please let us not throw away everything African. The developed world is doing everything to retrace their steps. Yours truly once stayed at a hotel while attending a conference in Berlin. The selling point of the hotel was that it started in 1892 and the hotelier used her grandmother and great grandmother’s recipes. Believe you me that was the only thing that made the hotel tick. They displayed their antique crockery, cooking utensils, cookers and all to prove their antiquity: I tell you. I also learnt of an upscale restaurant in France whose selling point is ‘Cooking with Firewood’.

Refresh and refurnish these skills and teach your children same. Your diet will be much healthier. Again, doing these together will foster skills acquisition, togetherness, growth and in fact gratification. You may be surprised how much your children will enjoy the experience. In addition, they may need them some day.

Thanks for reading!!

COVID-19 LOCKDOWN

Hi everyone
I am sorry for my prolonged silence; I needed a small break.

I know that we are all overwhelmed by all the information on COVID -19 pandemic. I do not wish to bore you further.

I just want to add my voice to the mantra ‘PLEASE STAY SAFE’

Please note that COVID-19 does not move: Rather people move it. This is the reason the experts insist on Social Distancing.

Hence LOCKDOWN is being advocated in many countries. This has led a lot of us wondering what to do with the time. I humbly suggest that this will be a great time to get healthy: Use this period for many healthy activities. We will start with Brain Health.

Brain Health

Activities that improve our general health also make for a healthy brain. These include a healthy diet, physical exercise, avoidance of smoking and Alcohol etc.
However MENTAL STIMULATION is extremely important to ensure an active healthy brain.

Mentally stimulating activities include Reading (Yes ooo old faithful reading cannot be overemphasized). Please read and ensure your children also read within this period. Read the BIBLE, Newspapers( old and new), Magazines, their school books, novels ETC. Reading gives you knowledge, opens the world to you and improves brain health.

Others are solving mathematical problems: Hmmmmmm I can hear some people squirming. Please do not worry, I am not grading the Maths. It is just for mental exercise. You do not have to be a Mathematician but you need basic Mathematics for everyday life. It is nice to have of it at your finger tips; It sure improves your brain health.

Other mental games include solving puzzles like Crossword puzzles, Sudoku and otherwise. Certain games like Chess, Draught, Scrabble, Monopoly, Ludo, Card games are all very good for the brain. All these activities help you to think, plan and execute your plan. These are all forms of brain exercise.

By the end of this COVID-19 lockdown you will find that your mental functions are sharpened.
In addition carrying these activities together ensure that you spend quality time with members of your family. It is a time and opportunity to relate, learn and grow together.

Thank you for Reading

Conclusion on Stress Management

Hi everyone

Today is the conclusion on Stress Management.

The following are the other steps principles in the management of Stress:

1. REST AND RELAXATION:
In today’s busy world, the concept of ‘rest and relaxation’ looks a bit impractical. There is virtually no time for anything else after work, caring for the children, caring for a sick family member, other social or spiritual responsibilities. However, you still need time for rest and relaxation. You can reduce your work load as earlier discussed to get some rest. You can also get snatches of rest at work. This can be a 15 minute nap in the office, just bending your head for some few minutes. Ideally there should be a lunch break at the office. This period is important to not only have lunch but also have a 10 minute rest.
It is very wise to relax with persons whose company you enjoy as earlier written. This is in the form of visitations, birthday parties, weddings and other celebrations. It is wise to avoid wild parties riddled with alcohol and recreational drugs as these situations lead to alcohol abuse, substance abuse, rape and other social vices with consequent Stress.

2. SLEEP;
Sleep is extremely important. William Shakespeare called in the ‘Balm of great minds’. Sleep is refreshing and restorative. The duration of goodnight sleep ranges from 2-3 hours in new born babies to 4-6 hours in the elderly. Most adults require 7-8 hours of sleep every night. Inadequate night sleep leads to headaches, poor concentration, poor performance at work, irritability and all. Please find the time to sleep.

3. GOOD FOOD
Once again, good food is very important in the management of stress. We have already discussed the importance of good food in the prevention of hypertension, Dementia, Stroke and Breast cancer. Ensure that you eat the ‘Healthy African Diet’. Features are fresh, unprocessed food, no additives, plant oils, fresh fruits and vegetables and lots of water. Remember to reduce salt intake.

4. EXERCISE
Sedentary life style is the bedrock of numerous diseases. You need to exercise for at least 30 minutes three times every week. Registering in a gym is wonderful. However, this may not be feasible for most of us. Hence we can incorporate exercise in our everyday activities: a concept known as NEAT (Non exercise Activity Thermorigenesis). This includes using the stair case instead of the elevator, walking, standing to take calls, watch TV, do domestic chores ETC. Deep breathing exercises are effective when there is acute stress; it helps in immense relaxation.
Some other people believe in some other principles like yoga, acupuncture and meditations: I do not know how they work; hence, I do not practice these principles.

5. FINALLY EMBRACE CHRIST AND FAITH IN HIM.
I am a Christian by the grace of God. I believe in the saving power of my Lord Jesus Christ. I believe in Faith in Christ and that Prayer can move mountains. This does not mean that your life will be ‘A bed of Roses’. It rather means that with ‘Jesus in your boat’, it is Peace be still. In addition, MIRACLES may happen and I have seen quite few. My writing this blog is one such.

In conclusion, I have shared the little I have learnt of Stress and Stress Management. I hope you found it useful in the reduction of your Stress.

Thanks you so much for reading

Further steps in Stress Management

Hi everyone

We are still `looking at the principles in Stress Management. Some other principles are as follows:

1. SUPPORT SYSTEM
Everyone needs a support system. People who have a good support system can pull through a lot of challenges. Members of the support system include the following;
Family: Family members are a great support system. This is because of their love and care for many years. They know your strengths and weaknesses and generally want the best for you. Granted, some of the stress may arise for family feuds, most members of the family form a great support system. They are particularly supportive in cases of works stress, poverty and illnesses.
Friends: Good friends are wonderful in times of trouble.
Support Groups: Support groups are extremely effective. It gives you the opportunity of meeting persons who had similar challenges. These include Alcohol anonymous, Stroke or Cancer survivors, Groups against violence, Veterans association……….
The Church: The members of the church also form a great support group because of similar beliefs. Spiritual leaders like pastors generally love, care and support their members. Painfully, in some cases, the members are judgmental. This is terribly wrong. If you can’t do any good, please do not do any harm.
Others are colleagues, mentors, neighbours ETC. Note that it is always wiser to choose your support (friends, family, church, Spiritual leaders, church members) from the same sex as yourself. This ensures safe boundaries; inappropriate relationships have been formed in time of trouble leading to more stress and disastrous consequences.

Share the problem with your support system.
Having noted that we all need a support system, it is wise to confide in someone. Sharing the problem goes a long way: a problem shared is half solved! Some persons keep all the issues to themselves. This ‘bottling up’ is very common in cases of domestic violence, sexual abuse, errant or badly behaved children. Granted sharing personal issues may be wrongly handled or blown up; confiding in someone is a risk. However, it is very beneficial to confide in one or two trusted persons. You may get some insight on how to navigate your own challenges and issues. In some cases, you may hear of worse cases making your own issues pale in comparison. This therefore gives you the strength to face the challenges.
Spend time with those you love (family, friends, colleagues). Spending valuable time with those whose company you enjoy is awesome. You have an opportunity to laugh again. Remember that ‘LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE’. Learn to laugh irrespective of your situation and circumstances.

HELP OTHERS
Helping others is a wonderful way of handling your stress. It takes you out of yourself. Wrapping yourself inside a package makes a very small package. Going out there to help others in whatever you can enlarges you in many ways. There are many ways of helping others. Financial help is just one way and it helps remarkably. Some of these include school fees, rent, transport fare, hospital bills and the like. Other ways of helping include running errands, babysitting, laundry, teaching, praying or just LISTENING. As often as possible, make yourself available to help others who are undergoing challenges.

Thanks for reading

Healthy Management of Stress 3

HEALTHY MANAGEMENT OF STRESS 3

Hi everyone
Welcome to a new week as we conclude on Stress Management. Today we will be looking at some other principles as follows:

1. ACCEPT THINGS YOU CAN’T CHANGE
This principle is difficult to discuss; I can hear some of us saying ‘It’s not my portion, there must be a change’. The painful truth is that some sources of stress are UNAVOIDABLE. Bad experiences and events happen and they happen to people. Painful as this is, you may have to accept them because they can’t be undone. These include death of a loved one or serious illnesses, Economic recession, Rape, betrayals, late marriage, infertility and others. I am sorry but you have to accept these. You will note that in the Holy Bible, Apostle Paul had a certain besetting issue. He called it a messenger of Satan. He prayed fervently three times and the reply of the Lord was ‘My grace is sufficient for you , my strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor 12: 8, 9). In essence, the prayer was never answered; Paul had to live with it. The death of a loved one is very painful and alters a lot of the family dynamics. However, you can’t live your whole life on if only my father, mother, sister or husband was alive, If only my father did not divorce my mother, I should have married so so and so person. If only I didn’t have the accident where I lost my leg, if only I did not lose my job ETC .

Can we remember the Serenity prayer written by American Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971) ht
God grant me the
Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
and Wisdom to know the difference.

Another thing you may have to accept is the behaviour of people. The painful truth is that People do not change. Hence, please do not try to control the behaviour of other people. Bad behaviour causes a lot of stress. This is the reason you take time to train children and impart values to them early in life. Once children have the right values, they usually grow up as responsible adults. On the other hand, adults who are already formed rarely ever CHANGE!!11. Only the Almighty God can change any man/woman. The expectation that the person will change and become what you wish causes a lot of stress especially in relationships. It is wise to change your own attitude and change your expectations.
Forgiveness is very important when it comes way of accepting and moving on. Hmmm, this one is tough. Forgiveness is not always easy (believe me I know). There are certain experiences that pain no matter how much you try. The thoughts and pains never seem to go. However, forgiveness makes it easier to move on.

2. THINK POSITIVELY
It is wise to think positively in most of the cases. Having ‘supposedly difficult’ colleagues or relationships eventually prepare us for us for future relationships. If you are overworked, you are actually being prepared to handle difficult and bigger challenges in the future. I have seen persons who had horrific bosses being grateful many years later for being passed through fire. In addition the situation will give you the opportunity to learn new skills at work, discipline, leadership skills, time management ETC. Hence think positively and look at the big picture. You may be going through stress today, but years later you will find that you are grateful for all the stress.
Thanks for Reading

Healthy Management of Stress 2

Healthy Management of Stress 2

Hi everyone

Today, we will look at some other ways as follows:

1. ALTER THE SITUATION
Another method of handling stress is to alter the situation and make it nonexistent. You need to figure out what you can do to change things so the problem doesn’t present itself in the future. Like noted yesterday, the first step is to have an honest appraisal and assessment of the source of your stress.

In order to alter the situation it is pertinent to ‘Plan and Organize’. He who fails to plan is actually planning to fail. There is every truth in the above statement. Some of the issues that cause us so much stress stem for our lack of plan and organization. I fondly remember my mother’s organization and planning. We grew up in the days of ‘Christmas clothes’ for children. My mum always bought ours by the last week of August. She avoided the ‘season rush’ for clothes, other apparels, Christmas decorations and even groceries when the prices of such goods tripled. We therefore wore quality but ‘cheap’ (cheap because they purchased very early) clothes. In fact I have a friend (a medical Doctor in the US) who waits to buy clothes when they are on sale. That is wisdom and prudence!! It takes off a lot of financial Stress is almost nonexistent when you plan well. Plan your finances (I am guilty here), timing, preparation for examinations and interviews and all. Just getting to the park or commencing the journey early makes for easier ride when the road is challenging. It is wise to get to the airport early and avoid ‘missed flights’ which cause a lot of stress both financial and otherwise.

Compromises may be needed in some cases. Note that ethics, standards and quality should NEVER be compromised. The compromise should be in the area of personal opinions or views. Inability to compromise is one huge cause of marital crises and stress. Family decisions like where to live, children’s schools, the church to attend, culinary styles surprisingly cause a lot of marital disharmony and stress. These issues should be discussed amicably with both parties ready to make some compromises.
Time management; Time management is a bit like plan and organize. Some of the issues that give us stress arise from time overload. Some of us take on too much as already noted yesterday. Please it is wise to manage your time better. Miss USA 2016 Deshauna Barber was an officer in the US military, pursuing her Masters degree as well as contesting for beauty pageants. She credits discipline and effective time management for her ability to do all three. Please manage your time well; it reduces a lot of stress.

2. ADAPT TO THE STRESSOR
Another way of managing stress is to adapt to the stressor. In essence, if you can’t change the stressor, then change yourself. This is especially important in the home. Granted we all have our individual differences and preferences, there are situations where you can adjust to the other party. Note that this does not mean to lower your standards and learn to steal, lie , sleep around or use drugs. It means that you can learn to sleep with lights on, wake up early in the morning, learn to cook the meal a bit differently, adjust to a smaller house or car ETC.

In some cases, most of the stress is caused by unmet expectations. We all have our expectations of marriage, relationships, jobs and all. Having another person do the same thing differently may cause us a lot of stress. It is not wise to compare one person with another. Please note that we are all different individuals. Your mother does it this way and so your wife must do it same way. The last pastor, HOD, teacher, supervisor, roommate, colleague, friend ….did it in a certain way and that becomes your expectation of the next person. What the next person is doing may not necessarily be wrong but just different. You may need to change your attitudes and change your expectations.

Finally, please set realistic attainable goals. It is not easy to have a busy job, parent your children, run a business, get more degrees and pastor a church all at the same time. I am sorry, there is going to be a ‘Give’. One or two will suffer significantly amidst the stress you will go through. Please set attainable goals. Goals and deadlines are good; it falls into the category of ‘Good Stress’.

Thanks for reading